Instagram: The Hotel California of modern times
You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave!
The author Deepak Chopra once said,
“Addiction is when you can’t get enough of what you don’t want anymore”
Spoke like a true addict!
Last month I tried to delete Instagram.
No, I’m not on any “social-media detox”. Nor am I low or depressed in any way (Also, why do people assume that one has to go through a certain tough time in personal life so as to want to deactivate an account?!)
No, don’t get me wrong — it’s really sweet of friends to check on you. But why should there be such a compelling reason for it?!
I’m just plain bored of it and don’t find a need for it in any way. It’s as simple as that!
But Instagram is like that clingy, toxic boyfriend who won’t let you go that easily.
“Alright Instagram, I know we had some fun times. There’s nothing wrong with you (*internal wink wink); but I’m kinda bored now and find my interest wavering.”
“I think it’s time to go our separate ways.”
But boy is it toxic! Instagram first begs you, pleads you and then tries to arm-twist you into staying. And the more it does that, the more I want to leave!
I tried to find that ‘delete account’ button — for close to an hour! I went through each and every account setting — even the most improbable ones. But just could not find it!
I could have searched online. But my hubris costed me time.
“Wait, I have pushed my way out of clingy apps in the past. How difficult could it be?”
“I’m not some old, technologically-challenged person who needs help with basic stuff like this”, I thought.
I could not be more wrong!
What Instagram does is — It very frequently moves around and hides the delete settings. When I finally gave in and searched, I was blown away by how wicked it was.
There were many who tried to escape like me before. Every link as to how to delete it, becomes irrelevant very soon.
And finally when I found it —
Instagram says — “Ok, fine! Tell me what your problem is and I’ll try to solve it for you.”
ME: “Wait what?! Firstly- I don’t need you to solve my problems. Secondly- weren’t you listening this whole time?- I WANT OUT!
IG: “Fine, If you think we are spending too much time together, we can cap that screentime”
ME: You don’t get to decide that!! I JUST WANT OUT!!
IG: “Fine, I’ll let you go now, but I’ll not delete the photos and memories we shared. Please know that my door is always open, and I will always be there.”
WHAT THE ACTUAL F!!!
Turns out — There is no Delete button! You can deactivate your account and delete the app but you cannot really delete the account.
Your information is always there somewhere.
I dint have the time or energy to fight this anymore. I could be least bothered.
As frustrating as it is, there’s nothing you can do about it.
I deactivated my account, deleted the app and moved on.
For some days.
But I had the knowledge of the fact that the door is not completely shut.
IG had kept me hooked on to dopamine hits for far too long to not have withdrawal symptoms.
Boring meeting — IG Memes: Well, Hello there!
Rough Day — IG Reels: You deserve some relaxation
Feeling Low — IG Reels: You know who can use some laughs to escape reality?
Insomnia — IG: Can I interest you in some Infinite Scrolling!
After a few days, on an idle weekend afternoon I caught myself thinking about it- “It looks like I have some time in hand. Not a lot to go hit the gym. But just enough to..may be…you know..scroll through some funny reels?!”
Just a fleeting thought there. I didn’t act on it.
Some more days passed. My intrusive thoughts crept up again.
“I wonder what IG is up to these days”, my curiosity joined in the party.
“A little distraction is actually good to keep anxious thoughts away. And how am I supposed to keep in touch with my friends in India? Memes are the only way- who has the time for a whole conversation? I’m even missing out on all the current happenings. Also, there are many informative pages.” — I found myself justifying what I already knew I was about to do.
“May be I’ll just take a look.”
And bam! Just like that- we were back together again!
We promised we will have some fun and leave it at that. And I started getting the dopamine hits again.
I tell myself- At least I’m better than people who overshare their painstakingly crafted “aesthetic” pics and reels. “Cant believe how these people are so hooked on to IG; trying so hard to impress that it makes me cringe!! Another food pic, another pic from an uneventful life which they post with so much enthusiasm, a bunch of filtered faces grinning away at the camera..It’s like watching a teenager trying to get the attention of their date. Get a life!”
(What’s that?.. Sorry, I can’t hear you from up my high horse!)
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Btw, have you seen my latte art pics which I posted recently? Cool right!
*Ding — Another 4 new reels from my friends
“Be right back!”
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